Thursday, Nov. 06, 2003

Remember when youths would get a bit racous, and a raised voice from a policeman, a word with their parents or schoolteachers, would ensure that the behaviour would nnot re-occur? No fucking chance nowadays.

I spent the day down the magistrates court to get in touch with the local crime scene. It's always useful to know who's fencing stolen goods & where I can get some good gear to smoke.

So, what do the youth of Grays get charged with nowadays? All fucking day I had my brian numbed by a continious slime trial of disillusioned, slobbering, hormonal wasters entering No Plea, to such various heinous crimes as failure to pay full train fare, or speeding - coupled with driving without a licence etc etc.

By about 2pm when the twelth little girl was up for non paying of train fare, I jumped up in the public gallery and shouted "Hang the bitch!" & hurled my empty bottle of Jack Daniels in her blurred direction. Yes - I'd fucking had enough. "Give her to me!" I bellowed, like a thing possessed - "I'll give her a short, sharp shock!". But the fucking judge wasn't really interested in seeing my point of view & had me brutally removed from the court in the usual bounce the journalist down the steps fashion.

The day wasn't a total loss - I landed on the pavement in front of a guy with the sweet smell of spam pouring from his clothes. He helped me up, "Hey, man," the hippy said, "They got you too, huh?" 'Huh'? I thought. Did I really pay my taxes for this fuckwit to get a stoned eduction? "Yeah," I said, "What did they get you for?"....

"Possession of canabis & failure to surrender to custody", he said with that great....".....and I'm still stoned now..." look on his face. "Excellent" I said, linking arms with my new found friend. "Lets find a pub & skin up - and we'll go blowing up postboxes with fireworks later - that'll be a laff!"

It was a great afternoon :)

Catch you later

|

Back Hacks - Future Hacks

---