Thursday, Oct. 30, 2003
There's always more to a story than meets the eye. I should fucking know. Remember the body in Barrymore's swimming pool a few years ago? It was a bit difficult for me to give a proper statement that night, as the gay blade had laid trails of the best Columbian Snoot Toot all around the pool. I was on my second run around the deep end when some daft twat with his trousers around his ankles fell backwards over me into the pool. See? How could I say that to plod? Best if the sad old queen took the rap.
But now we've got the delightful little story of Grays Football Club ground potentailly being sold to a property developer. Alan 'how old r u luv?' Barnard, the club's chairman has strenously denied rumours of being sold to Fairview Homes - who want to pull down The Rec & put up more of those twatting little flats like those by the river.
Business is business, right? And so are telephone & credit card numbers. Lenny has a list of regular contributors to his personnel ads section. Why people don't fucking 141 their BT calls before they dial out is absolutely beyond me. But somebody down at Fairview has been placing regular ads offering the services of young girls. (We are a respectable newspaper, and both Lenny & I do make sure that all the advertisers are genuine. Christ there's been some fucking exhausting weekends ensuring that we keep within the Trading Standards regulations!)
And conversely, AB - also known as ABnormal to...well anyone who knows about his bizarre sexual appetite - has been purchasing the telephone numbers from us for all these ads. (It's a great way of making money. We charge the nonce who places the ad, then charge the pervy who wants the telephone number. One day the Guvn'r is going to get wise to this & ask where the money's gone. Fucking Lenny drives an imported 1982 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme & spends his weekends continously clubbing. On a fucking local journalist's salary? - I don't fucking think so). Naturally - I get a cut.
So - is Fairview going to buy The Rec for development? Not at the moment. Not while AB knows where his just legal 'full body' masseuse comes from. But then Lenny may want to change his car......and Christmas is coming - and my drinks cabinet/cellar is a little low...So maybe Fairview might like to know what the chairman of Grays Football Club gets up to?
Who knows what might happen? We fucking do! :)
Catch you later
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