Monday, Sept. 29, 2003

We all need a break from time-to-time, right? Well, now it's time for a bit of a holiday. There's only so much excitement in Grays... Car crime and shoplifting has gone down since the kids are back at school - although you can still get your car broken into on Bradleigh Avenue whilst picking up your little darling from the Convent School. It may look like a posh area, but it wouldn't surprise me if the nun's home at the end of College Road is a fucking Taliban Headquarters. I did formulise this theory once. I was convinced they were were turbans underneath their nun's outfit. But then you'd formulise anything after a couple bottles of Vladivar.....

I borrowed the Guv'nrs Barclaycard, and booked a nice quiet cottage in Cornwall for a few weeks. Fucking Cornwall. Lost me my main Wapping contact. Remember the eclipse back in 1999? I went there in search of a good story. I took Dave with me. Naturally I need a photographer - but needs must y'know. So, to cut a long story short - as soon as the lights went out, and everyone was looking up through their pinhole whatsits - some cunt knicked my wallet!

As nothing else much happened that day, (including the lack of pics from Dave, as he ended up in a tent shagging some New Age hippie from Dudley), I decided to send in the only story I had. With a £500 bung to the printer at Fortress Wapping, there were 50 editions of the Daily Mirror that were printed the next day with the headline - "ECLIPSE IN CORNWALL - CUNTING WALLET KNICKED" - he lost his job, and I lost the last shreds of respectibilty I had left there... I do have a framed copy of that edition on the office wall - happy days.

I reckon I'll be seeing the moon quite a lot through pin hole eyes over the next few weeks....

Catch you later

|

Back Hacks - Future Hacks

---