Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2003
So they finally put Bruno away. Poor sad fucker. WBC World Heavyweight Champion to gruel sucker in the local Ilford looney bin. He'd been cross-dressing for years under the guise of pantomime dame. I'm surprised he wasn't sussed sooner. It reminds me of the time he was playing at the Thameside Theatre in Grays. It was a Christmas....
For some reason there seemed to be a lot of spare tickets laying around the office. We'd been giving them away as competition prizes since August of that year - but people had been sending them back and asking for the cash instead. I've got to agree - who wants to see a huge sinewy black geezer prance around in tights? (We did place an ad in Lenny's section & got a block booking from the East Tilbury Transvestite & Beach Combing Society...the mind fucking boggles at what they get up to). Anyway, after clearing out the Guv'nrs liquor cabinet, myself, Sharon, Dave & Lenny staggered down the road into the theatre. We'd got a box near the fire exit. Nuff said.
The show started and up minced the black queen at every available opportunity. God it was disgusting. Unfortunately, at the interval, word leaked out that we were press, (that's "FUCKING PRESS to you mate" as I like to remind people), and he couldn't keep away from us in the second half. He kept coming over to our side of the stage and winking to the box. I was a bit pre-occupied trying to get into Sharon's knickers, but Dave, (who'd been sucking on the fire extinguishers in the interval and was now as high as a fucking kite), got up and shouted to Bruno at the top of his voice:
"C'mon you black bender! I'll fucking take you on with one hand tied behind me back!" Then he turned to the audience and continued in his loud raucous tones, "And he's got a small cock! Cos he was in the toilets......." - and before he had finished his sentence the whole audience was pointing and shouting to Dave, "BEHIND YOU!".
"And you can fuck off you daft bastards you can all...." those were the last words from Dave for that evening. Like a gay ebony gazelle, Cinders Bruno had leapt from the stage, climbed into the box, and pounded the shit out of Dave. It ruined my night as well. Sharon ran out screaming. Fucking Dave.
But I did learn something about Frank Bruno that evening. He can pound the shit out of someone in pure anger if he wants to.
All we have to do now is get Tyson sectioned in the same hospital during his next trip to the UK, and we can see the best fucking boxing match you'll ever pay £50 on a Sky pay-per-view.....or £20 to a warder for a through-the-reinforced-glass-per-view
Catch you later
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