Friday, Sept. 19, 2003

Lenny the Hun has an interesting job. Lucky bastard. He's in charge of the personals. He's got a YTS kid, or whatever the hell they call them nowadays, to look after the hatches,matches & dispatches, while Lenny takes a more personal hands on interest to the sex-ads. He's known so well that some ads include "......as approved by The Hun". The Guv'nr keeps asking who The Hun is. Lenny told him it's an internet website, and then directed him towards Dave's p.c., where he spent the rest of the afternoon with one hand on the mouse - and the other down his trousers.

Naturally, while Lenny is on holiday, (Amsterdam or Thailand!), I like to keep my hand in, as it were, with the world of 'personal newspaper advertisements'. I decided to see what kind of replies I would get if I placed my own ad:

"Hung like a horse. Looking for fun"

Christ - what a mailbag! There were a dozen schoolies from the Grays Convent wanting some extra curricular activity; a vet who'd read the page wrong; a woman who liked 'riding' a lot...; several fucking perverts who left nothing to the imagination with their vivid replies; two former nuns, (from Grays Convent), who were looking for something to do after Evensong...?!; the Guv'nr - who replied twice; and Dave - who also sent me pictures of his ass. I made the pictures into a Wanted style poster and they are now covering every pubilc lavatory in the West Thurrock area.

Lenny emailed the office from Thailand about the ad, after one of his regulars phoned him and asked if the ad was his. Lenny is named The Hun because, apparently, he has a knob like a German sausage.

Did I really spend all my early years in Fleet Street destroying my liver at such an alarming rate to end up here with this bunch of arseholes? Apparently so...

Catch you later

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