2003-09-10
Liechtenstein? Who the hell are Liechtenstein? Amid the scrunched up copies of "Loot" containing last night remains of 'alien life form' and chips, I found the remote control and switched on in eager anticipation of seeing Sven's boys hammering the crap out of some country bumpkin snitchzel snozzling Sunday league team called Liechtenstein. My faded & torn copy of 'Boys Own World' , (long before that sort of expression would get you hundreds of hits to your website - for all the wrong reasons), shows me that the Prinicipality of Liechtenstein was established within the Holy Roman Empire in 1719, and became a sovereign state in 1806. Also, shortcomings in banking regulatory oversight have resulted in concerns about the use of the financial institutions for money laundering.
I see no mention of football teams. I fact I see no mention of sport at all. Although the financial irregularities do seem slightly remniscent of certain FIFA dealings in the not too distant past.
Why didn't we just wipe their arses all over Old Trafford? Where the fuck do we get off presenting a national football team on the world stage who can't get a goal past eleven contintental Worzel Gummidge's in forty five minutes? If Jack Charlton were alive today, (or is he still doing fishing programmes?), he'd probably piss himself laughing at that England performance, as he was manager of Ireland and couldn't give a shit, unless there was a Guiness or two in it for him.
Sven played his ace card during the interval and sent Gary Neville into their dressing room with pictures of his holiday snaps from Pontins in Blackpool. It's no wonder the poor buggers looked so demoralised when they came out again. So we got two lucky goals and scraped through the game.
That sort of crap won't work with the Turks next month. We'll have to send Heskey in there with him otherwise they'd bugger the arse off poor Neville and send him back rather more bandy-legged than he went in.
Time to reheat the 'thing' and chips.
Catch you later
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